Thursday, December 14, 2006
hey bloggg. its been a long time since a new post.
and its alr mid-dec. time flies, really. and its alr one month plus since beijing, and two days since i returned from lovely medan.
talking about medan, there's alot to do aft the trip. gotta organise the fotos and blog. quite worried about completing that task. and its only by God's strength and grace will I be able to do a good job.
well now that i'm on blogger i've lost the mood to blog abt the events. mayb another time. when i update on the medan trip.
right now, i just feel some kinda pang of rejection on me. a feeling that i can't express, and its not just at this moment; i dno why, but sometimes, sth seems to hurt me really badly. its an agonising feeling. and sometimes, i feel so insignificant; so small and worthless. this feeling seems to haunt me, and all do is weep silently.
sometimes theres this thing in me that cause me to feel so solemn and glum. and aft saying bye to my frens, i turn and tears start to collect arnd my eyes. what's wrong with me, i dno either. sometimes at home i just wna shut myself in the room, away from all the ppl, and stare into space, as time passes. sometimes i just wna keep quiet and not talk, because a deep sense of heaviness is in my heart. i feel like a nobody, and sometimes i just long for a company. yea, i cry out to the Lord; but my burdened heart still weeps within, and my soul cries out, for some comfort.
it just hurts inside. ):
pain.
.
5:21 AM
